Yeah. I can't do eggs.
When I scramble them, it is with absolute certainty that I will ruin the pan. It will be soaked in soapy water and sitting on the stove for days before the egg residue will finally come off. This happens regardless of if it's a nonstick pan, or if I use a whole stick of butter.
Yep. This pan is dead for 4 days.
My last attempt at boiled eggs was a complete tragedy. I tried to make soft boiled eggs, followed the instructions, came back after they had cooled down, to... Cold eggs with runny whites.
The last time I tried hard boiled eggs, *sigh* I murdered 8 eggs. I cooked them following the recipe to a T: ten minutes of boiling, let them cool down under running water, and the whites were still runny.
My eggs never even saw it coming...
The last time I attempted to fry an egg was probably the saddest of all. I let the egg cook, the whites turned... white, and I honestly thought I had too much oil in the pan. But no, the egg stuck to the bottom when I went to flip it, and then the yolk broke, I screamed in horror, and it become this gross mash of non-scrambled white with that weird crispy edge that has the oddest taste and is sooo gross, with a hard yolk... It was a cruel and unusual butchering.
It looked like this, but far, far worse.
It was after that fried egg, that I completely gave up and placed the Irishman in charge of eggs, (just like he is in charge of potatoes and all meats that go in the oven. You shouldn't need to ask why.), claiming that I would never again mass murder the innocent eggs in the fridge!
But then, something happened. I was always extremely intimidated by the poached egg. They are my favorite egg and I get them at every restaurant that serves them. They are the only egg that tastes pure. There's no oil, no fat, just egg. AND as my luck turned out, they're the only egg I can cook.
That's right, I can't cook other eggs to save my life, but the egg that is well-known for being difficult, easy breezy baby.
Made without oil, poached eggs are a cloud of perfect whites surrounding a golden yolk from heaven. I always slice open the top of the egg, to create a honey pot of molten gold to dip the corners of my toast into. Poached eggs are the only eggs that stay WARM the entire meal. You break one molten yolk and eat slowly, and when you're done you have a second MOLTEN yolk to break.
Similar looking to Burrata, come to think of it.
If I was a breakfast person, I would eat them every single morning with a slice of wheat toast smotha'd in buddah.
I'm not. I rarely eat breakfast, but I am a brunch person.
So here I am to share the perfect poached egg and what to eat with it. In a restaurant, I can't ever look away from Eggs Benedict. It's a sick obsession; if it's on the menu I can't actually purchase anything else. It's not an option.
Variations to place a poached egg atop:
- Mashed avocado on wheat toast
- On a bed of greens and sliced tomato
- On a hash of potatoes, peppers and onions.
- ANY pork product
- A spicy tomato sauce ( or poached within the tomato sauce)
- Black beans and chorizo
Basically, all foods are improved by poached eggs. But please do the right thing: All poached eggs must be eaten with toast and a sprinkle of s&p.
At home, my favorites are vegetables. My go-to is crispy, roasted asparagus with salty parmesan cheese. So today, I will share the perfect poached egg and my recipe for the easiest roasted asparagus in the world.
- 1 pound asparagus (Cleaned & trimmed)
- 4 large eggs
- Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling
- Parmesan cheese, thinly shaved
- Fine sea salt and freshly ground pepper
- 1 TBSP White vinegar
- Fill a pot with water with about 4 inches of water.
- Pour one TBSP of white vinegar in.
- Crack an egg into a small bowl.
- When the saucepan begins bubble a little more than a simmer (tiny bubbles. You want the water to be moving, but NOT a rolling boil)
- Take a spoon and create a whirlpool in the water.
- When the whirlpool is going on it's own, pour the cracked egg into the direct center as quickly as possible.
Should look like this.
- Set a timer for 3 minutes.
- Don't. Touch. Anything. Don't let the water get too hot. (If it looks like the egg is sticking to the bottom, when the white forms a little bit tap it with your spoon.)
- At the end of three minutes I like to fill a large bowl with hot water and transfer the egg.
- Repeat until all eggs are cooked.
- Heat oven to 350*
- Cover a baking sheet with tin foil.
- Throw asparagus on the sheet, drizzle with olive oil, s&p.
- Put in oven for about 10 minutes until asparagus is tender.
- Cover asparagus with shaved parmesan, turn off the oven and place asparagus back inside to keep warm..
- Transfer eggs with slotted spoon onto a paper towels to drain excess water.
- Plate asparagus, top with two poached eggs, then s&p.
- Indulge with buttered toast and a glass of champagne.
Should resemble this. But with worse lighting.
All my love,